The ABC’s of Growing Old

waiting_for_204980A is for arthritis
those poor aching joints

B is for backaches
from sitting or standing too long

C is for cataracts
making it hard to see

D is for decibel
which rises so one can hear

E is for electrocardiogram
so we know how the ticker is doing

F is for floaters
those nasty squiggly lines in the eyes

G is for GERD
no, not the guy; the acid reflux

H is for heartburn
the result of eating things we shouldn’t

I is for ingrown toenails
where on earth do they think they’re growing?

J is for jargon
the confused, unintelligible talk understood by you alone

K is for kvetch
the all day complainer – this hurts, that hurts

L is for lipids
we test every year

M is for malfunction
the common side effect

N is for nutrition
rules you’d rather not have

O is for opinions
abounding in multitudes

P is for pacemaker
replacing the not so hot ticker

Q is for ques
that seem to never end

R is for rapport
built with the doctors

S is for sanity
the sound judgment hoped to never fade

T is for tinnitus
the constant ringing in the ear

U is for unbalanced
when walk becomes waddle

V is for vaccines
against the flu, pneumonia, and what not

W is for water
the source of hydration

X is for x-ray
don’t you just love having your picture taken?

Y is for yawning
any time of day

Z is for zest
hoped for, but don’t seem to have anymore.

There you have it my friends
From A to Z in 26 words.
Arthritis, backaches, cataracts,
Decibel, electrocardiogram, floaters,
GERD, heartburn, ingrown toenails,
Jargon, kvetch, lipids, malfunction,
Nutrition, opinions, pacemaker,
Ques, rapport, sanity, tinnitus,
Unbalanced, vaccines, water,
X-ray, yawning, and zest.
That’s what growing old is all about.

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